The Ristras Rampage

A delusional descendant of Speedy Gonzalez, it has become my lifetime quest to honor my inanimate forefather by finding decent Mexican cuisine in Manila. While there seem to be a handful, they've been quite the letdown, serving crusty tortilla wraps, scrimping on salsa and forgetting that pico de gallo and guacamole are actually part of the Spanish vocabulary.

It is no wonder that whenever I suggest Mexican food when dining out, people just stare at me as if I've gone loco. But no, it's just that: Tengo mucho hambre! (I'm very hungry!)

This hunger was ultimately solved by this little joint along J. Abad Santos St., near P. Guevara: Ristras. At first glance, people may find it quite tedious to read the exhausting menu, but once you get the hang of it, the order process can be strangely interesting. I have learned the difference between a fajita and burrito (it's the beans, hombre) and realized that these two can be ordered naked. If dining with la familia grande, giant nachos and burritos are likewise in the menu listing for all those hungry hermanos y hermanas.

Best of all, each item is wrapped-created on the spot, which gives way to customized creations and less of OMG-what's-this-in-my-burrito? situations.

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Nine Layer Dip and Nachos P255

While I've lost count of the nine items that comprise the dip - let's see, cheese, jalapeno, beans, guacamole, okay I give up - it was Cloud Nine nevertheless. All nine flavors come in harmony and create that Mexican masterpiece to complement the chips. Nothing overwhelmingly stood out to steal the show and it was nacho heaven sitting on this cloud nine dip.

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Chicken Quesadilla P320

This grande serving is meant to be shared (by a family even) but this was mine to enjoy and finish to the very last salsa bit. And I did. The chicken looked like tofu cubes in the creation process but once tasted, burst with savory seasoning that my taste buds will forever crave. The chicken, cheese, pico de gallo and onions melted together into this wonderful que-sa-di-ya. The tortilla wrap was chewy and "fresh", and so were the guacamole and salsa. Eaten together, messed up and splashed all over the paper plate, this was perhaps the closest that I could ever have to a Mexican fiesta. (Unless of course I do get to go to Mexico. Ole!) It was rather on the expensive side, but this trip to Mexican food heaven merited a couple of satisfied burps and for that, I shall return.

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Steak Burrito P340

Not mine, but it was fun to watch the meat-eater endeavor to finish this carbo frenzy of a wrap. As if the choice between cilantro rice and chorizo rice was difficult enough, but to down this giant creation, it needed more than just a Coke and a Hail Mary. Flavorful as it is colorful, I believe Mr. Burrito will go for the que-sa-di-ya the next time around - but of course sharing is another option.

Ristras served us a rather glorious food fiesta, to make up for the faux Mexican joints that have been flooding Manila and their nasty fares that rely on Quickmelt cheese, butter and canned tomato sauce. At least at Ristras, everything was natural, fresh, authentic and well, mucho gusta! Gracias!

Bon Chon Fish Tacos

That's right. For those of you who consider Chicken Bon Chon to be well, a chicken place, that is partly true. Spotting the Chap Chae poster at the entrance of the Promenade branch piqued my curiosity, but I wasn't in the mood for noodles then.

What did catch my attention was the Fish Taco that retails at P75. Ah yes, I haven't had a decent fish taco in months, so it was time to refresh my taste buds, and that meant devouring at least 1 taco. Reading on, I realized the value of thoroughly scanning the menu and not just deciding spontaneously based on the best looking photos, as I found exactly what I was craving for: Fish Taco Meal (2 fish tacos + drink for P150). Perfect.

At first glance, you can already assess the overall appeal of the fist taco. Here's what I thought: If you're not a cabbage person (good thing I am), you will hate the taco.

Seriously, the taco is composed mainly of cabbage shreds with a light mayo dressing. The cabbage feast was mildly enjoyable, and underneath all these baby shreds, a chunky dory marinated in the same flavor as the original Bon Chon Chicken. Allow me to re-christen it as the Bon Chon Fish - really soft, tender, tangy and a fantastic breather from the nest of cabbage that surrounded it. Pescatorians will finally get the chance to enjoy the taste of Bon Chon in this excellent seafood selection. The only downside: the pita wrapper. It was hard, toasted and definitely a challenge to masticate. And, my fork broke! That's the type of fight it put up against me, trying not to be eaten. In retaliation, I tore it with my fingers and ate the tacos partly with my hands - very out-of-character!

In the midst of this wrapper struggle, a big mess was made. Hence, no photos of that fabulous fish fillet. As an apology, here's the regular Bon Chon Chicken leg. Imagine it without the bones - same coating and color but soft, white fish steaming from within. Yum, huh?

Next time, my self-made Fish Taco + Chap Chae super combo!

Promenade Picks: BonChon Chicken and Happy Lemon

After years of non-existence in my mental malling destination, Greenhills Promenade finally makes a grand entrance with the opening BonChon Chicken at its ground floor foodcourt-ish section. Alongside Singaporean and noodle stores and with Happy Lemon manning the revolving doors, it’s Asian food bliss.

Despite the lengthy queue and the spiteful stares of the standing crowd—hoping to grab a table in the foodcourt’s limited seating capacity—BonChon Chicken’s debut finally draws in people by the hordes. For once, we don’t have to force ourselves on Mexicali, Pepper Steak or Hizon’s. Hurrah for the chicken homecoming!

BonChon Chicken, with its twice fried chicken and special sauce, has been hailed the Best Chicken in America. The Chicken Chops are tender, sweet and mildly crisp. The batter is chewy and compact, making the 4-chop serving very filling. Pair it with fries for a zesty sidekick. With the fares a bit (okay, greatly) on the oily side, there’s a reason why Happy Lemon is just around the corner.

As expected, only Happy Lemon can match the queuing length and time at BonChon Chicken. With the in-line May-I-Get-Your-Order personnel and the vibrating flying saucers, you might think that efficiency is finally brewing at Happy Lemon, but not really. Compared to our previous visits, the Green Tea with Rock Salt and Cheese has dwindled in taste (the tea concentration, more specifically) and the Crispy Cocoa Matcha with Brown Jelly  and additional Aloe had too much ice and NO cocoa and aloe. Checking the receipt—Hey, I paid P10 for that! I want my aloe!

Hopefully, this lackluster experience will not be the service norm. Coming up with nicknames is my specialty and I’ve already brainstormed the following: Zero Intensi-TEA, Where art thou, my Aloe?, Matcha Misery, and of course, the apt no-brainer: Unhappy Lemon.