High and Guangzhou

And just when I thought I was skilled in the art of communication, a trip to China brought this so-called proficiency to shame where my non verbal gestures deemed useless and my well enunciated English, inept.

 Illiterate in the land of international cuisine, Renminbi and hoisin, it can be quite embarrassing to succumb to the global goods (in short, Mcdonald’s and Starbucks) and English speaking retailers, or what sounds like English. Hear me though; once the locals start serving you hot water to drink and almost send a vacuum to your hotel room (itwas just a voltage inquiry, for the love of Lao Tse), it’s best to stay safe, sound and IBS-free. ate

Good thing Peko and Poko are spelled in English. And Glico. And Lotte. Saved by 7-11!

In the territory where the Watson’s lady couldn’t tell Bi-o-re from Ni-ve-a and nearly tore my arm off trying to whiten my wrist, it’s best to stay silent. Keep quiet, look, click a bit and eat what was ordered in English.

So don’t look for photos of snakes, chicken feet and rabbit heads. I never said I was the adventurous kind.

For heaven’s sake, I couldn’t even order a decent milk tea without getting a line to form behind me. In real life, it's Lost in Translation, sans the enjoyment, Bill Murray and all the fun in between.

But of course, a girl's gotta eat.

 

 

Starbucks was an imperial haven for the foreigners with English speaking baristas who obligingly heated your food and perfectly understood the necessity of non fat and NO whipped cream. The Smoked Chicken Salad was Asian inspired and very filling, it was like dining near home.

I never thought I'd call Starbucks a second home but I'm loving that green logo.

 

 

 

 

 

McDonald’s Guangzhou has subtitled menus beside the cashier (not the one in front). Bring a magnifying glass though as it can be a tough debacle with the photos, text and cashier. The Chicken Wrap is worth the wait despite attempts at failed gestures. Spicy, flavorful with cabbage and spinach wrap, I’d swap our local Mcdo for this Chinese counterpart anytime!

The Lamington Cakes were rather popular, and while I never got the chance to research their history, content and cultural significance, the McCafe version (chocolate, strawberry and vanilla flavored) was rather endearing and for once, I found myself enjoying coconut. The coconut shavings provide the texture for the smooth cake within. Hail Lamington!

The Spaghetti House mayhem caused me to spend 80 Yuan for dinner. Turns out they had a menu for the middle class variety but no, they decided to feed me baked lobster pasta for dinner despite my pauper get-up.

Ah yes, it must’ve been my royal English, especially when I inquired, “Do you have OR?”

Very queenly indeed.

The Dakasi milk tea fiasco caused a line so long I was glad I couldn’t understand swear words in Chinese. And I had the gall to order the longest and most peculiar drink in fine print. Now that’s taking my sweet time and sweet my green tea with brown rice milk was. Sweet yet utterly memorable.

After all saying “50% sugar” would certainly take another 10 minutes and a line 10x long!

Bruce Lee Logo-bearing Kung-Fu is a fastfood place frequented by local kids. Cheap, convenient and serves hefty meals, I understand why a lot of folks coop up in this joint. Congee, rice meals and noodles are common menu items but they do have that curious looking almond jelly that could make local giant Chow King shudder with its lack of Chinese authenticity. Boo-yah!

Guangzhou Sheraton's Breakfast Buffet wasn't that bad either. With fresh tomato juice, smoked salmon and fried noodles as part of the morning roster, what's not to love about this place? Oh yeah, just that they forget what water is. H2o? Agua?

Chaa ("tea") then.

Delightful cheese selection and cereals, soy milk, the crunchiest melon I have tasted in the East - if I could live on breakfast alone, it would be here!

Of course nothing ever goes according to plan, there's lunch, dinner and that obligatory midnight snack. Too many to mention, here's a smorgasbord of stuff I may have eaten, sniffed or clicked by accident.

Don't ask for details, or all you'll just get is a "Meow!"

 

Though I never got to say it back then, here's my chance, despite the opposite placement.

Nihao, Guangzhou!

It was good while it lasted. Now I'm back to teabags and local ramen. Ah well, the price to hear decent English once again.

Starbucks Hoji-what?

The local plebeians have found their drinking pleasure in the conveniently sprinkled milk tea joints all around Metro Manila. I for one am guilty of this menace, and have adopted the milk tea jargon of “no pearls”, “less ice” and my favorite, “zero sugar.”

The last spiel has earned me gawks and sneers that the cashier will certainly mark as the zaniest she has encountered in her front-office life, but if I had the time, I’d certainly have told her, better my decisive and time-saving action than the band of kids behind me dishing out statements that sound like “Ummm”, “Hmmm” and all other rhymes. It seems that it will take her forever to get them to order, unless they head for cover at the nearest McDonald’s. 

Yet again I digress from my feature photo. Starbucks Hojicha.

I have not been to Starbucks for a while, and curious about this Hojicha drink which has been flooding my dreams and consciousness, I’ve decided to finally confront this poster drink.

Resuming an upper class stance, I’ve decided to drop the hoi polloi Moonleaf mindset, put on my best English and go for “One Grande non fat Hojicha Frap with Earl Grey Jelly for J.Anne!” and since it was lunch, that chicken pesto on panini which looked quite enticing in that flat presentation.

The Hojicha came sans the cream, sugoi! But that was the best part out of this hoj-experience. If I were to rename this gloriously presented drink, it would be: 110% Sweet Earl Grey Frap, further sweetened by the Earl Grey Jelly. This is best partnered with something horribly bland and crisp, and I am glad I went for panini than the Oreo Cheesecake that was winking at me from the chiller.

In terms of the tea flavor, the Hojicha is certainly the supreme being that perhaps contains 10 teabags worth of tea which would please the Queen of England. 

Being used to mildly sweetened to bland drinks, the Hojicha certainly blasted my system to hyper-sugar mode—though I needed it at that time, reliving Tom Hanks in his The Terminal experience. Other than this outlier experience, I believe that should I have a tea fix, I would resume to my eternal favorite, the one drink that will never let me down, despite horrendous exams and long drives: Green Tea Frap without whipped cream.

 As for that chicken pesto panini, the actual name escapes my mind. Perhaps my subconscious decided to bury it in my mental oblivion since it wasn’t that spectacular to begin with. I’ve had other better tasting and worth recalling Starbucks sandwiches and this surely isn’t one of them. Filled with chicken, pesto and cheese, it was hmmm-kay but not dream-worthy.

 Especially when it’s something I can replicate at home. 

 But still, I am sure glad I didn’t go for that Oreo Cheesecake or the bathroom would’ve been my destination and not China. 

Konnichiwa, Green Tea and Blueberry Cheesecake

Last time I took a walk in broad daylight, I was met with eerie-strangers-holding-fraps in every corner, which led me to think that this Starbucks Hojicha has come to haunt me.

“Ho-ji-cha!” Ho-ji-chaaaa!” Yamero! (Stoooopp!!)

All right then! Alas, before the fear could drive me to get that hoji-cup, I heard strange stories about the Hojicha + Earl Grey Jelly (too sweet, tastes like the forest) that made me ditch the drink and go for something more solid, green and table-worthy.

[caption id="attachment_1979" align="aligncenter" width="1024"] Itadakimasu![/caption]

Konnichiwa, Green Tea and Blueberry Cheesecake! For a cheesecake and green tea lover, this was something I could not run away from. Best of all, it doesn’t have those annoying adzuki beans that really leave bad teeth stains.

Top layer consists of that white chocolate (?) that more jelly-like than creamy. It had that very strange flavor I could not detect, but it would seem strange if I suddenly asked Starbucks for the ingredient listing of a slice of cheesecake. And so let’s just call it that white viscous layer that needs a knife to cut through.

The “mantle” is the best part, green tea-infused cheesecake, to be followed by blueberry cheesecake. The green tea cheesecake was remarkable, but rather sweet in the Hojicha fashion—a valid “sweet” reference, I believe. Little bits of blueberry floated on the other layer, which would be a welcome for those looking for fruit, jelly or just the color purple.

Lastly, the graham crust remains a staple (green tea-graham would be asking for too much but would be something I would love to taste), but I did spy nuts in some bites. Nuts and graham may not be the best combination for me, but I waived this slight transgression since the green tea cheesecake is something I’ve been waiting for a long time. Finally!

On the side, Starbucks also has that Purple Yam Cake (ube) with layers of Macapuno and Adzuki Beans. It’s 100% purple (check) but with ube (no way), macapuno (what is this, halo halo?) and adzuki (stains, stains, stains) that make up the cake (what it’s not cheesecake?) I’ll pass.

Kekkou desu! (No thanks!)

Starbucks Cold Chicken Soba Salad

Our household thrives mainly on noodles and salad (and the occasional roast chicken), but putting them together in one dish has never materialized because I found the combination rather cold, squirmy and altogether bland. And add weird as well, since the thought of cold macaroni salad continues to bring shivers in our tropical home.

The thing is, I've never had decent soba. Ever. It's a pity really, since whenever we pass by the Asian aisle in the grocery, I hold the raw product in my hands, perpetually clueless and broke to even shoot it in my basket.

Having no proper benchmark for soba is such a shame, especially when I take pride in being a noodle-lover. Of all places to take pity on this plight, it had to be Starbucks, which was rather strange - slurping on noodles while everyone else was being normal and sipping on their frap (which I happen to be allergic to).

The Cold Chicken Soba Salad is a combination of greens (not just iceberg lettuce, fantastic), chicken strips, shiitake mushrooms,  soba noodles and that awesome soy-sesame dressing. Normally, I try to be a refined diner and digest my meals slowly, but the dressing prompted me to disregard my morals and dump the whole cup on the noodles. Never mind the black sesame seeds creeping on everything it touched; it was don't-talk-to-me-while-I-eat and don't you forget to respect the soba. The entire serving was light, satisfactorily soy-savory and something I would love to have for lunch everyday. 

Unfortunately I've spotted this salad in hordes, but only in Starbucks Magallanes, which can really be annoying to the northern dwellers.

Of course I've considered a solution, but it involves huge backpack, so I don't suppose anyone would go along with this plan. Anyway, it was good while it lasted.

Starbucks Finds

Starry-Eyed at Starbucks

When gluttony kicks in, it doesn’t matter where you are or whose birthday it is. It’s all about what we want to eat. And make it now.

Caught in Starbucks, the only natural reaction is to hoard the most breathtaking cakes. Forget the fruits or the oatmeal cookies, it’s all about creamy chocolate bliss. Unfortunately for my brother’s wallet, there were 3. What the hell, it’s our dad’s birthday!

 

Heaven on Earth (P130) 5 layers of chocolate, mousse and cream—made more divine by its glossy chocolate top that sheens with the floral overlay. The celestial aura makes it the perfect gift, but a bite will make you decide otherwise. The chocolate cake base is light and fluffy, which complements the overly creamy middle layers and the fudgy peak. A gift from the gods indeed!

Concorde (P120) Embodying its aviation namesake, the Concorde inspires action, marvel and French style. Each bite embraces an assortment of textures and chocolate intensity, you’ll be in awe until the very last bite. Chewy and toasty on the outside, the meringue provides the protective and addictive crust. Finding our way inside, the chocolate mousse is just as luscious and satisfying. This is one delirious flight I’d ride all over again.

 

Sugar-Free Trio (P160) You’ll never settle for the regular chocolate mousse again, after indulging in this sugar-free delicacy. You wouldn’t even know it was sugar-free, unless you read the label (or I blabbed about it). The cream and mousse are mildly sweet yet decadent enough to satisfy those sweet urges. The chocolate base is a remarkable surprise, as it strays from the conventionally boring cake and delves into something more sinister—a firm, semi sweet cookie crust. It’s a surprising sugar-free triple threat that I’d keep all for myself!                                                              

Best part of all, no need to travel far for this chocolate fix. Trinoma alone hosts 3 Starbucks, not to mention the Landmark branch. Plus there are a couple more spotted on the way home. Ah yes, the stars have aligned indeed.